Got my Indian Union Driving license...yipeeeeeee

After a lot of miserable moments i finally got my license, so to live this moment to the max i revisit the madcap indian driving

Travelling on Indian Roads is an almost intoxicating potion of colour,sound and vivid Indians.A complete feast for all your senses. It is mostly heart-thumping, at times hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely treacherous.

It seems that every indian who is on the road has inherited a set of predefined rules that are required to survive the "Indian driving experiance"

Rule I: All those who embark on the holy indian roads attain immortality.

Rule II: Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to:

COWS,BUFFALOS,ELEPHANTS,CAMELS,GOATS,DOGS,CATS,PIGS (Try to convince UN to give bio-diversity hotspot status ;) )

TRUCKS

OFFICIAL VEHICLES(are allowed to 120kmph on roads where we can do 12)

Hamara apna AUTO

APSRTC (Devil may care attitude dudes)

SCOOTERS AND MOTORCYCLES

CARS

BICYCLES

(and why the !@#%@)PEDESTRIAN

Rule III: All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat.

Rule IV: Mandatory use of `sound horn` ( All horn signals have the same meaning, viz: "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have no intention of stopping, even if I could." This signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps.)

Rule IV remains subject to the provision of Order of Precedence in Rule II above.

Rule V: All manoeuvres, shall not nessarily obey Newtons laws of motion.(Except when subject to scrutiny of TRAFFIC POLICE)

Rule VI: In the absence of seat belts, helmets , RC book, license........... just forget it. Destination shall be the ultimate aim.

Rule VII: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle and in some cases from nowhere.

Rule VIII : All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel, size or speed of the vehicle shall occupy the least occupied part of the road.

Rule IX: Traffic signals GREEN-Alls well, go anywhere you want to
ORANGE- rev your engines to the maximum to make sure you dont see RED
RED- Stop(Not mandatory), look and proceed
other impression should be ignored.

Rule X: Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you. Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing -- and one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians.

Rule XI: Mukti may be obtained through the head-on crash.

PS-All the above rules shall be mandatory in order to have a pleasurable "Indian Driving Xperince"

RGIA n ME

Initially I thought what difference could RGIA that was comin up do to me after all it is an airport which usually doesn’t get the honour of my presence, rather I would have it just as a landmark that I could boast of being close to my house. How on earth could a mere presence of the airport alter that was around me since the beginning of my time.

As the usual ritual of almost every alternate weekend our family headed for Shamshabad market (one of the only two landmarks I knew on this side of the planet, the other being Parivar Dhaba) hoping to save a few bucks on daily groceries and vegetables, but my dorky mind was convinced the money that was saved was burned up in car fuel which the head of my family retorted as rubbish. I still have that tinge tickling my tongue of that maroon grapes stalls that decked up the narrow road that was supposed to be the Banglore(rather Bangaluru)highway, which I reckon can be got nowhere on the whole expanse of planet earth. Now these roadside stands have virtually disappeared but those which have managed to survive simply doesn’t stand up to the reputation that has been imbibed onto me of that brand. There were many things that I looked forward on this routine trip like the almost deserted highway encouraged us to embark on long trips to the unknowns but largely confined within probably an hour or two.

Then came the news when I was around class 7th or so that I heard that a new greenfield airport is going to come up somewhere around Shamshabad. As always, I was not interested in such news and this was further strengthened by “big” people around quashing them as rumours after all what has it to do with me. All I was worried about at that time was that the daemon Vittal Pal(a security) would invade our cricket pitch and would chase us on his cycle to the unknown edgeways of our beautiful campus saying that the pitch was only for vehicles to ply on(as it was the main road). Of course we didn’t leave him alone always we always tried to deliver maximum damage to his prodigious body.